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JOKES
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
CLEVEREST MAN IN THE WORLD
At the time of the Hodja, some clever and educated men were searching for an intelligent man, who could answer their three questions.
They traveled through the whole world and then came to Akshehir. They asked:
“Who is most intelligent man in this town?”
Of course the people of the town brought the Hodja to the three men and they began to ask.
“First question: Where is the central point of the world?”
The Hodja's donkey was with him. So he pointed to his donkey.
“Where the front legs of my donkey are, there is the middle point of the world.”
“How can you prove that?” asked one of the men.
“If you don't believe, you can measure it”, the Hodja said.
Measuring did not seem a good idea to them, so they went on to the next question.
“How many stars are on the sky?”
The Hodja replied without hesitation:
“As many as the hairs on my donkey's mane.”
The three men laughed.
“If you don't believe it,” said the Hodja. “you can count them.”
The foreigners understood that they couldn't get a correct reply and one of them asked:
“Can you say how many hairs are in your donkey's mane?”
“Oh, yes”, said the Hodja. “There are exactly the same number of hairs as you have in your beard. Now don't tell me, that you don't believe that because I can prove it by pulling one hair from your beard and one from the donkey's mane. When we pull each hair out one after the other, you can see at the end that there are the same number of hairs.”
The three men went back to their country and told everyone that the cleverest man in the world lived in Akshehir.
Child pushing himself next to his grandfather.
-Grandad, will you close your eyes?
-Why should I close them, child?
-Because mummy and daddy said, if grandaddy just closes his eyes, we will be very rich.
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A LITTLE GIRL
A little girl asked her mother "Mom, how old are you?"
Her mother snapped back at her "Haven't I told you it's not polite to ask a woman her age?"
The little girl was telling her friend the story and her friend told her
"You can find out anything you want about your mother from her driver's license".
The next day, the daughter approached her mother
"Mom, I know EVERYTHING about you." Her mother said "Like what?" "I know how old you are -- you're 38. I know you weight 137 pounds, and I know why Dad divorced you". "You do, do you? Well, tell me."
The daughter looked at her mother with a sad face and said "Because you got an "F" in sex."
